Tonight is my school's lock in. So basically we get there at 21:30 and stay until 6:00. There are games and movies and food and there's a dance going on the whole night. Last year they had reallyy good food so I'm afraid I'm gonna eat. Like it's all catered from the restaurants in town and it's all super high in calories. I probably will be dancing the whole night because that'd be a good way to exercise. I'm excited.

So for about a month, I had a thing with this guy. He lives in Washington (I'm in Oregon) and it's only a 15 minute drive but he doesn't go to the same school as me so we never really see each other. But last weekend we were hanging out at his house and we starting making out and he was like "Sooo does this mean we're together or what?" And I was like "I think so" :) so later when my brother was coming to pick me up (not having my license suuuucks), we were talking and I was like "So we're together right? Like dating?" And he laughed and kissed me and said yes. It was so fantastic and I was so happy and I'm still happy and I haven't seen him since then which majorly sucks because he's a phenomenal kisser

I'm going to Ireland in 21 days with my choir! Oh my goodness I can't wait. Like I really can't! :) I'm going to lose 10 pounds by then. That's the goal. So I'll be down to.. 148 pounds? Yayy. So I've been driving like a lot lately with my dad and I think I may actually be good enough to get my license on my birthday! (April 19)!! But unfortunately, the DMV in my little bum town only offers the driving test on thursdays... Just my luck that my 16th birthday would be a friday. I'm so excited though :). I'm going to be in Ireland for 9 days which I guess isn't that long, but with my whole choir... It'll probably feel like ages. I'm actually a little scared cause I don't have any friends in choir. I mean, I do, but none of them I really talk to. And the majority of them have THEIR best friends in it so they don't need to talk to me :( the only girl I could potentially spend the trip with is the one I hate. Stupid bitch kissed my boyfriend last year. Ugh she needs to just like, fall off a cliff and die. Whaaat no I would never say that. Jk. I just did. I really do not feel like sleeping. But my dad is in bed so I feel like I should. But honestly dad stfu it's only 21:30 like go home.

I was asleep and my mom decided I needed to wake to to come downstairs and spend time with her. If she wanted me to spend time with her, maybe she shouldn't dump me at my dads house every chance she gets. Just maybe.

So in all, today was a really good day. Probably because I watched the Breakfast Club. I've never seen that before! Best. Movie. Ever. I think I'm probably gonna watch it like every weekend now. Like usually I don't wanna watch old movies so I think I'm gonna try to be more open to them now. Any suggestions? :) good night

So I feel like I'm really bad at blogging. I'll do fine for a couple days but lose all motivation a couple days later and just want to give up. But whatevs, I can do what I want

Photography Blogs

So I'm in this photography class and now that it's second semester, we're posting our pictures on blogs so maybe I'll link my photo blog and all my nonexistent followers can check my photo skillssss. Hahaha yeah right

V-Day

So my valentines day was okay. I was gonna hang out with this guy I like a lot but my friend was sad because her boyfriend lives 300 miles away and I guess chicks before dicks. We went downtown and had dinner (she got a slice of pizza and a breadstick, I had some iced tea and a couple bites of her food) then we went back to her house and watched Hotel Transylvania, which bee tee dubs, is adorable. We watched it in theaters with it came out but whatever, it was still adorable. I'm pretty sure if I went to the guys house, we would probably have done it. Which would have been my first time. Ummm, sorry but I don't want to be THAT cliche. And it also would have been our first "date"... I don't want to give it up that easy so I'm glad I didn't go with him.

Beach

So I'm sitting in a restaurant with my mom and we just ordered dinner and I'm gonna go home and purge it and I honestly can't wait. I haven't eaten today and I haven't been eating bad at all lately and I miss purging. Like not miss it but I feel weird not having done it in a while.

Can't wait!

So I didn't post at all this weekend. I've been pretty busy.. I gave myself a bit of a break from Friday after school to today. I was just having a bad time. I'm starting the SGD tomorrow though so I'm excited about that.

So I fucked up. At lunch they were giving out free dilly bars and my friends were all like why aren't you getting one? So I was like okay, I haven't eaten anything else today so I'll just throw it up after lunch, no biggie. Then my friends walked me to class so I couldn't. I'm so scared I won't be able to get it up when I'm home

• Lust: Something that I find attractive. Nice  Teeth
• Pride: Something that I like about myself. My Hair
• Sloth: Something that I dislike about myself. My Weight
• Envy: Something I wish I was better at. Boys
• Gluttony: One of my favorite foods. Chips and Salsa
• Wrath: Something that gets me angry. My Weight
• Greed: Something I can’t get enough of. Jesse
• Chastity: Prefer relationship or hook-up. Relationship
• Humility: Something that I like about others. Acceptance
• Diligence: One of my goals. Lose Weight
• Kindness: One of my best friends. Kelsie 
• Temperance: Something I wish to have better control over. Eating
• Patience: Something that made me suffer. Josh

ABC Diet- Day two

Goal: 500
Breakfast: green tea (0)
Lunch: nothing (0)
Dinner: nothing (0)
Snacks: To be honest, I kinda binged on chips and salsa when I got home from school, but it wasn't that big so I would say like 300 calories? And I had some skim milk so another 50. I skipped dinner because of the binge. (350)
Total calories: 350
Exercise: 200 cal burned
Total calories after exercise: 150
150/500
Could have been worse I guess. I think the whole ABC diet is freaking me out too much so on Monday, I'm gonna start the SGD. I think it'll be less stressful and better to ease into less food. Hopefully less binging! I considered purging after my little splurge but I really did not feel like throwing up chips and salsa.

ABC Diet- Day One

Goal: 500
Breakfast: green tea (0)
Lunch: green tea (0)
Dinner: two tacos, rice and beans (330)
Snacks: toast with beet dip, tortilla chips with beet dip and fried egg (390)
Green tea (0)
Calorie total: 720
Purged about 1/3 of food
Calorie total after purge: 480
Okay. Holy shit Taylor. Get it together. You are disgusting.
I keep it together until I get home from school... Maybe I'll just lock myself in my room with nothing but tea. Ugh I'm not looking forward to being at my dad's house. I love him, but he cooks full on meals every single night. And breakfast. I can manage the breakfast, but it'll take up all my calories for the day. Then I'll have to purge dinner every night. Hope he doesn't hear.

I hate myself.